Beware! Low Trees!
so I’m walking down the pavement, making sure I don’t trip on the cracks
looking where I’m going, and paying all my tax
when I look up and see a notice, that’s been nailed on to a tree
it’s giving out a warning, and it’s giving it to me
beware of the low trees it says, they’re a danger to your health
if you are not too careful, they’ll get you or someone else
all through my life I’ve worried, about falling off a cliff
or perhaps of being run over, and ending up a stiff,
but it seems that the biggest risk, has been made clear to me now
it’s getting injured by a low tree, but I cannot work out how
sincerest thanks they have to go, to the notice man who wrote
about the low tree risk there was, I’d like to shake him by the throat
what stupid nonsense is this, are we in danger from a tree
I’ll just look where I’m going thanks, and take the risk on me
— / – / – / –
I honestly have no idea what this notice was about. In my experience, trees begin in the ground, so I guess that’s pretty low down. They have roots, they are generally underground, also fairly low down. Once out of the ground, they grow upwards into the sky, I think that’s the general idea. I’ve seen overhanging trees, where their branches loop down, but there were none anything like that in sight at the time. Even then, surely we’re all grown up enough to notice that a tree is blocking our path – let’s face it, if anyone is so lacking in observation skills that they don’t notice they are about to run into a tree, how on earth are they going to spot a small notice nailed to a tree (they haven’t seen the tree remember?). Health and Safety gets overdone these days, just look where you are going, and then you’ll stop yourself before you run headlong into a tree.
Thanks for that – it’s brightened my day! Health and Safety is the worst end of the Nanny State. What a waste of space most of the time! A nice piece of poetry too.
Thanks Andy, I’m sure this H&S stuff is necessary sometimes, but it goes to far on occasions.
Ah, but the notice is there so that, if you blunder into the tree, you can’t sue the Council (or the tree) for compensation! I like your poem – it reminded me a little of Dire Straits’ ‘Industrial Disease’.
Wow, thanks Jo, praise indeed! I can see what you mean about Industrial Disease – it wasn’t in my mind at the time, honest. Now, if I could just get the hang of that guitar sound…
You are too funny. Love the poem. Wonder if they’ve thought about this — what if people get distracted by the sign, and actually stumble and get hurt … I’m sure in the US here you can find some lawyer to take your case (the sign made me fall)
That’s a great idea, it’s almost worth a try just to see if it would work.
lovely writing, had a good smile this morning
Thanks Mimo, can’t do better than bring people a smile!